Couples often experience mutual confusion and anger, as well as a plethora of other feelings, due to one or both couples seeking to punish the other in order to prove a point, but could benefit from marriage counseling in Florida if they actively pursue it.
Consider for example Steve and Wanda. Steve is somewhat insensitive to Wanda’s need to feel love, which is primarily expressed by giving her attention. She complains of this often, but Steve feels that he does give her attention and when taken to task mentions the last time they made love, or some of the suggestive sexual things he has said to her while she is getting dressed in the morning or at other times throughout the day.
Steve has no idea that Wanda views Steve’s sexual advances as purely selfish on his part, and feels objectified by his behavior – as though he merely sees her as a sex object and that, for him that is her primary identity and value as a person.
This angers Wanda but she doesn’t want to really believe it, so she looks for evidence that he loves her as a person rather than just a sex object by looking for his non-sexual, personal attention. She resists his sexual advances more often than not, which makes him feel shameful and damages his feeling of self-worth, as well as angers him. When she talks to him, he is preoccupied, and hems and haws and grunts.
She talks about her problems because she wants to be intimate, but from Steve’s perspective, he feels like she is complaining and blaming him for her problems. So, rather than be confrontational and fight, he grunts and remains distant in order to prevent himself from becoming angry. She looks for non-sexual intimacy, but the only way he seems able to approach intimacy is through sex, which for Steve really is intimate and makes him feel less shameful and more masculine and accepted for who he is.
At this point, it’s obvious Steve and Wanda would benefit from really communicating in the context of marriage counseling in Florida since they both want the same things, but neither of them know it. Instead, Steve believes Wanda just wants him to solve her problems and doesn’t love him as a person (expressed by her disinterest in sex), and Wanda believes Steve doesn’t love her as a person and just wants to have sex with her. The reality is that both of them want intimacy with each other, but neither know how to give or get it.
Marriage counseling in Florida can greatly benefit people like Steve and Wanda by providing a safe, neutral context to work out problems and truly communicate before it’s too late.
Marriage Counseling Florida – Families by Design provides marriage counseling in Florida to facilitate communication for couples whose ability to hear each other is broken. We engage couples in creative and interactive ways in order to fully address pertinent issues and seek to bring healing to the marriage. We would be happy to talk with you. Contact a counselor today for more information. We are located at 7900 Glades Road, Suite 350 in Boca Raton. Please call us first for any inquiries at 561-994-7222. Visit us online at our website.
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